


Chill My Bones, But I Feel The Fire That Sears My Soul

by bigsweatersandcuddleweather



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Tree, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 10:40:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1547711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigsweatersandcuddleweather/pseuds/bigsweatersandcuddleweather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas fic where it is their first Christmas together and Zayn is like the wide eyed child, awed and wonderstruck because it’s all so pretty</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chill My Bones, But I Feel The Fire That Sears My Soul

"Hey guys, have you seen Zayn?" Liam asks, leaning in the doorway of the living room, wiping his damp hands on a dishrag while the others unloaded ornaments that they had finally brought down from the basement.

"I think he’s upstairs. Would you tell him to hurry up? I want to go and pick out a Christmas tree." Niall whined, as he watched his Louis and Harry laugh at each of the stupid ornaments. Liam chuckled, ruffling the blonde tinted locks before taking the creaking stairs one at a time, crossing the hall to get to the double doors at the end of the hall, their master bedroom. He didn’t even need to bother checking the ensuite because there Zayn was, curled up under and over and completely surrounded the mounds of covers on the bed, a book in his grip and headphones plugged into his ears.

 

Liam stood there for a second, just watching the familiar face, oversized glasses perched on a button nose and a familair blushing tint on the warmed up skin, his sweater rucked and bunched around his neck and wrists, practically drowning in the soft worn material, hair tucked under a maroon beanie, one that had made so many rounds that they had forgotten who it had belonged to.

"Hey babe, hiding out?" startled eyes darting up to meet Liam’s before the tensed shoulders relaxed and he smiled softly. This was a Zayn that Liam and the boys were glad that they world weren’t allowed to see and wreck, this soft and gentle figure who looked at them with such deep affection that words could never express.

"No love, just cold." he said, even his voice was nothing higher then a murmur, muffled and blowing over just as quickly as the words were spoken.

"Then you should’ve told one of us. It’s probably the anemia." Liam fussed, walking over and lifting the covers that he could slide in right beside him, arms pulling the slimmer body closer.

"Didn’t want you lot to worry. They others were having too much fun." he commented, but gladly curled up into the warmer body, arms slipping under Liam’s shirt, making him wince at the frigid fingers.

"You idiot." he said affectionately, kissing the tip of the red tinted nose, willing his warmth to seep into his boyfriend’s cold bones and cease the chills.

"Wanker." returning the kiss onto Liam’s chin.

"Don’t be a trollop. Now the others want to go out and find a christmas tree, you up for a trip outside?" but he was skeptical, debating on whether or not he could leave the brunette on his own, or let Louis and them pick a tree.

"I thought you guys might want to go…without me." Zayn said sheepish almost in his admission.

"Why would we want to go without you?" Liam asked, completely surprised. This was the very first Christmas that all five of them would spend together, as boyfriends, and not with their families. Why would they want to do anything without all five of them together?

"Cause I don’t know…like I’ve never actually separated it." 

"But- but what about last year with-" he refused to say her name, his beard. She was lovely and a total sweetheart, just like Eleanor but the fact that they thought the couple was actually real for so long didn’t make his feeling toward her any easier.

"No. She did it all, I stayed at home and then me and my mum and sisters went there that day and took pictures and stuff. I haven’t- like done anything Christmas. I may not be good at it." admitting the fact that he didn’t belong here, not now.

"Is that it? Zayn, there’s no way that you can’t be good at Christmas. It’s physically impossible." Liam reassured, kissing his lips, once , twice, lingering on the tender mouth until Zayn let out a sigh of a moan and parted those lips to breath Liam in.

"It’s just like Eid. Except different songs, different decorations and instead of those cool salwars we have really dorky sweaters and sip eggnog which isn’t as good as people broadcast it to be." he said, knocking off the felt beanie to be able to caress the dark hair.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. We pick out a nice tree, and decorate it, and then it’s nice and probably disastrous with all five of us there but then Harry will make us popcorn and we can string that as well but it’s really old fashioned but it’s fun. Something I used to do with my gran." he reminiscenced, not aware that Zayn was listening as attentively as he was, smiling at the nostalgia in Liam’s voice.

"So, tree then?" he asked, unsurely, making Liam grin like a christmas light himself.

"Yes, go get dressed babe." he said, throwing off the covers and dragging Zayn up with kisses all over his face, hearing the giggles that made his own heart trill.

"ANd really really warm Zayn. None of that leather jacket shit." giving him one last kiss as he made his way downstairs.

"Come on lads, go get dressed, come on. We need to make this an epic Christmas." he said, getting their attention, Niall and Harry letting out whoops and crawling out of the room before getting to their feet, slamming a door upstairs and then a very familiar shriek and more laughter.

"So, is Zayn coming?" Louis asked, coming up behind Liam and wrapping his arms around the built waist.

"Yeah, he didn’t think that he should because he’s never actually celebrated Christmas and he thinks that he’s going to be bad at it." feeling Louis’s muffled chuckles against his back.

"How could anyone be bad at celebrating Christmas?" shaking his head at the Pakistani lads thread of thought.

"Remember when we were going to his place for Eid?"

"But that’s different. He’s so…cultured and stuff. I thought I was going to say or do something that would offend their family."

"And instead he thought that you weren’t having a good time and got embarassed and hurt." Liam hummed, reaching behind him to grab the supple waist.

"Okay, you’re right. It’s not that that hard to believe. Okay, I’ve got it, make Christmas epic." squeezing Liam tight one last time before dashing off to get ready. He spread the word to Harry and Niall and they all went downstairs with the same thought in mind, trying to make Christmas as magical for Zayn as it was for them their first time. Even though he didn’t technically celebrate it, he was theirs and they wanted to celebrate with him.

"Why is it so bloody cold?" the inky haired lad grumbled, clomping downstairs bundled up tight and heavily, scarf wrapped around his lips and a hoodie pulled over his beanie, both covering his forehead and the glasses that stayed perched on his nose, too lazy to put his contacts back in. He had a hoodie over the long sleeves, one of Harry’s jumpers over that and then a down feather puff jacket, not ashamed to have pulled on tights under his jeans and thick boots to complete the ensemble, He felt like an idiot but being anemic and going out in that weather was never a good combination.

"It’s the downside of snow, and winter babe." Niall hummed, reaching out to wrap an arm over his shoulders, nuzzling closer to his chin.

"But it’s pretty." and of course they had to grin because Zayn and his affinity for pretty things, his eyes constantly glancing around and taking in the things that they didn’t see. They knew that if he could he would peer close enough to each falling flake to see if they were really different from the one before and after.

"Yes, and so are you." Louis said simply, kissing him quickly as he hunted around for his hat. He didn’t see the faint blush that flooded the cheeks, one that was wiped away the second the stepped outside and the fierce winds whipped at his exposed face. 

Harry took the wheel with Zayn in the passenger seat, watching the streets pass by, lights decorating houses, lightened beacons that ushered glad tidings into their homes and hearts, the very sight making Zayn smile because he had never actually celebrated but that didn’t mean he didn’t have great memories associated with this time.

He followed behind all of them as they pulled into a parking lot of a forest area, where they were given a sled and told to take their pick of the trees around. Harry dragged Zayn down into the seat in front of him, his legs bracketing the narrow waist and back pressed to his chest as Liam and Niall rolled their eyes and pulled the sled along, trying to keep up with Louis who was enthusiastically inspecting each tree. 

"Cold?" Harry’s voice breathed warmth onto his neck.

"No." he said back, and he wasn’t., hot chocolate cradled in his mittened palms, laughing as Louis nearly got crushed by a tree that was far too big and nearly fell on him. Louis was always one for extreme and sometimes gaudy. They patrolled each aisle of tall trees, shaking their heads, too big, not big enough, bare in places, too fat in width, stumpy of weirdly skinny. None of them would do. They needed the perfect tree.

"Do you see one you like love?" Harry asked, fingers knitted over Zayn’s stomach, knowing that Zayn’s keen artistic eyes were busy scanning the line up.

"How about that one?" he asked softly, almost shy as he raised one hand to gesture to one of the trees that was partially hidden. 

"Oi, lackeys, move those over there. Zayn wants to see the one hidden in the back." Harry shouted, voice creating a humming vibration against Zayn’s back that he sighed to, so comforting.

"Why are we the slaves?" Louis whined, but helped Liam drag some of the scrawney scrunched trees aside to reveal the very ones that all of them had been subconsciously looking for. It was just fat enough to give it that iconic triangular shape, not a bare balding spot and the top was tall enough for a tree topper to stand out.

"Good eye Zaynie." Niall called, throwing a wink in his direction before turning around to help Liam try and grasp the other end but Harry extricated himself and went over to help his bumbling lovers, Zayn getting out of the way to let them all set it down gently. By the time that was done and they all looked up the brunette was gone, a trail of footsteps left in his place.

"Zayn?"

"Zayn, where’d you go?"

"If you got mauled by a bear then you’re on your own." Niall’s comment making them chuckle and speed up involuntarily, just in case there was said bear mauling.

He was standing in a clearing, snow coating the grounds, fresh and pristine as their boyfriend stood in the midst of it all, looking up at the sky and the way the moon seemed to shine even through the dense clouds. He was up in the sky, thoughts so high in places that they could never reach, swooping and falling, doing loop de loops over their heads and just out of their reach, but they tried to peer into his mind, to watch the clogs and they way he seemed to see the world. Things were like a mystery, needing to be solved. He was an enigma, a puzzle that had jagged edges that didn’t seem to fit. A beautiful conundrum.

"Snowfight!" Louis broke the moment, catapulting himself into the clearing and tacking the smaller figure straight to the floor, laughing as more bodies piled ontop of him, making sure to take the weight on his arm, so as not to suffocate his laughing red faced lover, who was gazing up at him, snowflakes sticking to lashes and eyebrows, looking at him as if he put the stars in the sky and hung the clouds that poured snow over them, and it made the satisfying heavy in his heart weigh further.

"Love you." he said softly, quick as a whip leaning down and trying to press a peck to his lips but Zayn’s hands grasped the back of his neck, making him shiver at the frigid fingers that held him in place, but the lips were warm and welcoming, breathing mint and the vague familiar nicotine to the very back of his throat.

"Love you too." he got the words back when they finally pulled apart, foreheads pressed together.

"Yeah, I know." he had always known, subconsciously, somewhere that the way Zayn looked at them wasn’t just brotherly affection, something more. He was just mad that he hadn’t acted on it sooner, hadn’t asked him to be a part of  _them_ before. Didn’t see that he was hurting himself because he didn’t know they had the same affection for him in their midst, forcing himself to be with Perrie because he didn’t want to be alone.

"Hey, don’t do that." those same chilled appendages coming up to trail along his nose, drawing his attention away from his own thoughts and to the shivery lips and squinting eyes.

"Don’t think about it. It’s done now. We’re together now." always able to glimpse into his mind, just through his eyes and watching his face. Louis nodded, lumbering to his feet and reaching down to pull the younger lad to his side, hands furiously rubbing his arms in an attempt to create friction and stop his lips from looking so blue.

"C-cold." he mumbled, bringing the scarf further up to cover the petite nose that was reminiscent of Rudolph.

"Yeah, let’s get you back to the car then." he hummed, trying to hurry them along and leaving the others to watch after the tree and get it paid for.

"No, ‘s fine." he said, reaching for Louis’s hand and tugging him back to his chest.

"Zayn-"

"Just hold me you overbearing affectionate bastard." Zayn huffed, nudging Louis until his arms went around his waist and he could rest his head on his chest comfortably.

"Fine but if you get a cold then it’s your own fault and you have to put up with the others coddling you because I’m not gonna bother you pillock." but that was a boldfaced lie because he knew that he would be right by his side with hugs and words read from books because Zayn will give him those eyes and whine until he gave in and curled up over him reciting Twain or Don Quixote with soft breaths tickling his neck.

"Sure, you keep telling yourself that you minger." whining when Louis attempted to pull away at the insult.

"No. It’s cold and you’re warm. Don’t you love me?"

"I don’t know why but I love your insufferable face."

"It’s my jawline, remember?" cheeky as ever even if the wind bloew snow straight into his sight and his smile shifted in place of trembling lips. Louis tsked under his breath, pulling the hood so that he shaded the face from further assault.

"Not just your jawline. I like your eyes and how big they get when your so into your book and something exciting happens, I like your soft kisses and raspy good mornings, and the way your tongue sticks out when you’re so into your work. I like everything aboutyou, but you’re pretty jaw is a plus." pleased when he sees the wide set of the eyes because Zayn did not expect that. Where Harry and Niall were plain and blunt with their emotions Louis much preferred to show them through his actions and masking love with playful insults. 

"Yeah, look what you’ve turned me into. You fucking romantic chav." and he was back. Zayn just shrugged it off, letting his head rest on Louis’s shoulder as another body sidled up to his other side and brought with it more warmth to heat his chilled bones. He let Niall hug him tighter and tried to show he was smiling and Niall must have gotten the message because he pressed his hand into Zayn’s pocket, twining their fingers. 

Glancing behind he could just make out Liam and Harry with their arms around each other and heads bowed together as they shared the sled’s combined weight. With the snow blurring their vision he wished that he could just freeze this moment in and paste it into a snowglobe, pick it up and look at it all of the time. 

Because this moment was cold and wet but it was exciting and familiar and so full of love and affection that he would relive it again and again, with no one else but these lads


End file.
